2024 Why your team sucks - Aug 11, 2022 · Bad football is the only thing that Southerners will ever apologize for. Your 2021 record: 7-10, which doesn’t do these particular Falcons justice. Football Outsiders pored over the stats and concluded that they were the “worst seven-win team in history.”. Their point differential of -146 was the fifth-worst in the entire league.

 
Your coach: Sean Payton, who talks trash like a second-rate nickel back and coaches like one too. Here’s Sean sealing his own doom just before Stefon Diggs smashed his idiot team to pieces. And .... Why your team sucks

Published July 29, 2019. Photo: Adam Hunger ( AP) Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview ...What’s new that sucks: This roster is loaded and the Vikings spent the offseason basically dotting it with maraschino cherries to make it even more appealing. They got Cousins. They signed ...Oct 8, 2021 · Let’s make one thing clear: their playoff run wasn’t the result of them winning, but the other teams losing. They were down 2–1 in the first two rounds and either Pittsburgh or Boston would ... Your team: Jacksonville Jaguars. A swastika projected onto a building in downtown Jacksonville in January 2023. Image: Reddit. Your 2022 record: 9-8. AFC South champions. The 2021 Urban Meyer season was so fun that I never wanted it to end, what with all the dry-humping and kicked kickers and what not.Aug 25, 2023 · This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Minnesota Vikings. When the Chargers social media team has you nailed, that can’t be good. Your 2022 record: 13-4. Biggest party in the NFL. I’m a Vikings fan and I fucking loved this team. The fundamental premise of Pittsburgh sports is that the Pittsburgh Steelers and their unhinged, pampered, racist, and delusional fans are intrinsically superior to every other team and every other fanbase. This belief is treated by almost everyone in Western Pennsylvania, including local sports media, as self-evidently true and beyond debate.Don’t get me wrong, culture is important. However, it’s become NOT important because leadership at many companies has attempted to define, manipulate, …٣٠ ربيع الأول ١٤٣٧ هـ ... Here is our third installment of WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS . Today we take on the Boston Bruins - in the background is an NHL 16 Ranked Match.Aug 5, 2022 · White was injured one game later, but still: MAGIC. Your coach: Robert Saleh, who says all the right things and seems like a really cool guy, except …. Of all his challenges as a rookie head coach in the NFL, the injuries, the virus, the proverbial roller coaster in a 17-game season that produced four victories, the Jets' Robert Saleh said that little compared to occupying a two-bedroom ... ١٥ ذو الحجة ١٤٤٣ هـ ... 19:35 · Go to channel · Why You're HARDSTUCK (The TRUTH) - League of Legends. Skill Capped Challenger LoL Guides•721K views · 15:06 · Go to ...Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the ...The worst case scenario is that this team becomes the Mariners, an aimless mass just floating through a mediocre existence that fails to capture the hearts and imaginations of the city.Ike Hilliard is your wideout coach, and there are few Guys I like remembering more than failed Gator wideouts: Hilliard, Reidel Anthony, Chris Doering, Jacquez Green, Reche Caldwell, Jabar Gaffney. It’s its whole own genre of Guy. An absolute joy. Your quarterback: Bryson DeChambeau’s father. When someone in the stands has a footlongWhat’s new that sucks: The Vikings went on a free-agent spending binge in an all-out attempt to lose a Divisional Round game. Here’s your new defense: CB Patrick Peterson, who visibly declined at the end of his tenure in Arizona is already being touted as a mentor to all the other Vikings defenders. He’s their CB1.But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Las Vegas Raiders. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Las Vegas Raiders. Another lengthy postgame meeting between #Raiders owner Mark Davis and first-year coach Josh McDaniels in McDaniels’ office. Your 2022 …Then your newfangled Rams go to the Super Bowl, hoping to kick off their return to Los Angeles in winning fashion, and they look like the oldest, slowest, shittiest football team from 1982 ...Your team: New York Terrible Football Giants. The Giants and the Jets are tied for the worst record in the NFL over the last 5 seasons (22-59). They are dead last despite that stretch including the Browns going 0-16 and the Jaguars getting the first pick in back-to-back years. — Danny Heifetz (@Danny_Heifetz) January 10, 2022.٧ ربيع الآخر ١٤٤٣ هـ ... ... team help organizations and leaders translate the latest ... Why I changed my mind about nuclear power | Michael Shellenberger | TEDxBerlin.This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Arizona Cardinals. Your 2017 record: 8-8. Congratulations, Arizona. Your ...Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Miami Dolphins. Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Miami Dolphins.Bad football is the only thing that Southerners will ever apologize for. Your 2021 record: 7-10, which doesn’t do these particular Falcons justice. Football Outsiders pored over the stats and concluded that they were the “worst seven-win team in history.”. Their point differential of -146 was the fifth-worst in the entire league.What’s new that sucks: As you’ve already seen, this team has been built on eggshells. Wideout Deebo Samuel, arguably the most enjoyable player in football, demanded a trade this offseason ...Drew Magary owns Why Your Team Sucks and the Funbag, which both are coming over to Defector. On the landing page right now you can send him submissions for either of those.Drew Magary September 6, 2023 Protect The Head That Reads Defector Finally, a way to cover your head while also letting everyone know that you read about sports online. Defector now sells bucket and trucker hats in the merch store. Union made and printed in the USA. Buy Now → Why Your Team Sucks Why Your Team Sucks 2023: San Francisco 49ersSep 9, 2021 · Your team: Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Still a popular but expensive fixture on the downtown Tampa scene, this 65,890-seat, open-air colossus is beginning to show signs of age. The ends of the venue are festooned with pirate décor more suited to children’s birthday party venue where you have to amass 80,000 skee-balls tickets just to win a toy ... What’s new that sucks: Not content to carry water for just ONE abuser, the Browns are getting America ready for a full season of Jim Brown hagiography. If you think any of this …The Broncos cut Ja'Wuan James after he tore his Achilles offsite, in order to avoid paying him an extra $10 million. Alleged rookie sensation Jerry Jeudy dropped 670 passes. And the season ended like …What’s new that sucks: Flush with cap space, Poles loaded up in free agency on the lowest value positions that any team could invest in. Your big ticket signings include former Bills linebacker Tremaine Edmunds and former Eagles linebacker T.J. Edwards. These are both perfectly good players. But again, they’re linebackers.Aug 31, 2023 · -Jerry Sullivan YIKES. pic.twitter.com/FrHfB3quay — NoShaveDave (@NoShaveDaveee) December 13, 2022 Your 2022 record: 13-3. Last year’s Bills were the regular season juggernaut that we’ve all come to know, admire, and still largely distrust. They won their third straight AFC East title. They won 13 games for the second time in three seasons. Oct 7, 2021 · The Hurricanes had a 36–12–8 record, close to the best in the entire league. They beat out Florida and Tampa Bay for the division. They had top-notch defensive play, led by Dougie Hamilton ... Joseph: They’re basically the Jeff Fisher of organizations at this point. David: The Lions suck because our subreddit is the best in the league and it’s the only thing Lions fans have to be ...No matter. Burrow threw two picks, a ravaged O-line gave up five sacks, and the Bengals lost, giving Chiefs TE Travis Kelce the chance to talk the corniest-ass shit to Cincinnati’s mayor: “I’ve got some wise words for that Cincinnati mayor,” Kelce said. "Know your role and shut your mouth, you jabroni!”.Your 2018 record: 11-5.A Super Bowl victory that was about as entertaining as watching a feather-haired old man get a handjob. All five of the Patriots regular-season losses came to non-playoff ...This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: The Raiders. If you say that name the way Chris Berman jokingly does, I will sneak into your home while you’re asleep and spray the bottom of your shower with WD-40. Your 2021 record: 10-7.What’s new that sucks: Nothing! Thanks to over $57 million in dead cap space, the Packers finally got to live out their lifelong dream of signing no free agents at all. The highest-profile signing was backup S Tarvarius Moore. Their second-highest profile signing was a long snapper.Didn't even flinch when it happened. 2. Our defensive secondary consist of a scarecrow, Plank from "Ed, Edd and Eddy," a hot dog vendor and Glover Quin (that poor bastard). 3. Our beer prices are ...Aug 31, 2022 · This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: The Raiders. If you say that name the way Chris Berman jokingly does, I will sneak into your home while you’re asleep and spray the bottom of your shower with WD-40. Your 2021 record: 10-7. Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Atlanta Falcons. By. Drew Magary. Published September 6, 2017. Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons ...Now Trump is turning the US into the Buffalo Bills of countries: a horribly mismanaged shithole full of rock-dumb racist drunks screaming “We Need To Go Back To The Good Old Days” while ...32 32 comments Add a Comment [deleted] • 11 yr. ago If you ever think this is true, ask yourself this: "If a pro player were put in my league, could they get back up to …The Broncos cut Ja'Wuan James after he tore his Achilles offsite, in order to avoid paying him an extra $10 million. Alleged rookie sensation Jerry Jeudy dropped 670 passes. And the season ended like this. It should count as TWO losses when you make Jon Gruden look inspiring.Aug 29, 2023 · Your team: Jacksonville Jaguars. A swastika projected onto a building in downtown Jacksonville in January 2023. Image: Reddit. Your 2022 record: 9-8. AFC South champions. The 2021 Urban Meyer season was so fun that I never wanted it to end, what with all the dry-humping and kicked kickers and what not. This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: The Raiders. If you say that name the way Chris Berman jokingly does, I will sneak into your home while you’re asleep and spray the bottom of your shower with WD-40. Your 2021 record: 10-7.Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Miami Dolphins. Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Miami Dolphins.Aug 28, 2023 · Why Your Team Sucks 2023: New York Giants. Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: New York Giants. The Eagles fan in front of me just typed "Fuck the Giants" on ... Why Your Team Sucks: Detroit Red Wings LebronMaclean · Follow 5 min read · Sep 22, 2021 -- 2021 SEASON: The Red Wings were arguably the most improved …The reason my team sucks is because every fucking time some jerk douchebag takes it upon themselves to get a bully-boner by making fun of my beloved Bills, I have no comeback. Literally none.Best record in the NFC. Conference champs. 8-0 start. Second-most big plays in the league for the season. Third-most team sacks of any team in league history. The Eagles were so good all season long that I, a late-blooming enemy of all things Philly, came not only to admire this team, but LIKE them (I put money on them).Aug 25, 2022 · And then, a month after the season was over, their head coach was like SCREW THIS and peaced right the fuck out for a gap year. Gone now is the foundation of one of the most successful NFL franchises of the past decade and change. The 2022 season represented an opportunity for New Orleans to un-fuck their current roster and bring in a new head ... This team didn’t even wait until Week 1 to start Lions-ing this shit. Meanwhile, 2021 first-rounder Jameson Williams was suspended the first six games because of the NFL’s tricky new gambling policy. Four of those games will be against playoff teams from a year ago. But please, go ahead and buy into the 2023 Lions.What’s new that sucks: This roster is loaded and the Vikings spent the offseason basically dotting it with maraschino cherries to make it even more appealing. They got Cousins. They signed ...Joseph: They’re basically the Jeff Fisher of organizations at this point. David: The Lions suck because our subreddit is the best in the league and it’s the only thing Lions fans have to be ...Meanwhile, the team is not-so-shadow run by a doofus with a Napoleon complex who became one of the few GMs in recent memory to run both a Super Bowl MVP & Super Bowl-winning Coach out of town …This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here. Your team: Cincinnati Bengals. Your 2015 record: 12-4. Wow ...This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Philadelphia Eagles. Your 2021 record: 9-8. The Eagles started last season 2-5, mostly because they were under the mistaken impression that they knew how to pass the football.The Los Angeles Chargers are ranked 30 th in the team guide. They are currently in a converted office building as a temporary facility and according to reports, the permanent training facility should be ready by 2024. It is understandable that the ranking and negative results reflect this temporary workplace. It sure is.This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Miami Dolphins. Paragons of taste and excellence. Photo via Caneswear.com. Pair those with some high-end, aqua blue toenail polish, and Jimmy Buffet will invite you backstage within five minutes. Your 2021 record: 9-8.When you need your employees to function as a cohesive team, you may need to plan a few team building activities to get everyone together. Whether you’re planning an extended event or you just need something quick for fine tuning of your te...A hickey can last anywhere from a couple of days to two weeks, depending on the amount of bruising inflicted on the capillaries under the skin. A hickey is a small bruise caused by kissing or sucking on the skin of the neck. The act of suck...Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Detroit Lions. By. Drew Magary. Published August 24, 2017. Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This ...Your team: Jacksonville Jaguars. A swastika projected onto a building in downtown Jacksonville in January 2023. Image: Reddit. Your 2022 record: 9-8. AFC South champions. The 2021 Urban Meyer season was so fun that I never wanted it to end, what with all the dry-humping and kicked kickers and what not.Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Las Vegas Raiders. Some people are fans of the Las Vegas Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Las Vegas Raiders. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.What’s new that sucks: Pittsburgh lucked out when the draft broke their way and they grabbed OT Broderick Jones in Round 1, followed by CB Joey Porter Jr. and NT Keeanu Benton in the second. If Porter’s name rings familiar to you, it’s of course because you know that his father’s pit bulls once broke loose and killed a miniature horse :Bills Mafia sucks because they're a pack of replacement-level Trumpkin jagoffs who spend their time getting alcohol poisoning in parking lots and complaining endlessly about how New York City should be its own state, as if their shantytown would even have paved roads without the tax revenue collected downstate.٢٨ ذو القعدة ١٤٤٤ هـ ... Is your CS:GO team always terrible? Do you constantly have to drag the lifeless corpses of your League of Legends or Valorant teammates over ...Best record in the NFC. Conference champs. 8-0 start. Second-most big plays in the league for the season. Third-most team sacks of any team in league history. The Eagles were so good all season long that I, a late-blooming enemy of all things Philly, came not only to admire this team, but LIKE them (I put money on them).Ryan Tannehill had his worst season since he came to Tennessee, capped by a three-pick shitshow in the playoffs against the Bengals. He was paid $38.6 million to do so.Somehow, instead of wasting their draft picks, as they are wont to do, the Titans watched the best QB in the draft fall to them in third round.Didn't even flinch when it happened. 2. Our defensive secondary consist of a scarecrow, Plank from "Ed, Edd and Eddy," a hot dog vendor and Glover Quin (that poor bastard). 3. Our beer prices are ...Aug 30, 2021 · This is what you deserve, Steelers fans. You deserve to watch your team continually rebuild around an aging, indifferent shithead of a quarterback and have it go absolutely nowhere. You deserve to have your head coach privately despise all of you. You deserve a running game that makes the '90s Jets look efficient by comparison. Knowing how to troubleshoot issues with your vacuum cleaner is one sure way of extending its service life and getting the most bang for your buck. It does suck to have a vacuum cleaner that doesn’t suck.Aug 11, 2021 · The Giants are expected to release TE Kelvin Benjamin. Former wide receiver was attempting to revive his career at a new position. — Jordan Raanan (@JordanRaanan) July 28, 2021. Elsewhere, the Giants signed Kenny Golladay to a huge deal, because they enjoy watching former Lions wideouts take their money and then suck. Aug 11, 2021 · The Giants are expected to release TE Kelvin Benjamin. Former wide receiver was attempting to revive his career at a new position. — Jordan Raanan (@JordanRaanan) July 28, 2021. Elsewhere, the Giants signed Kenny Golladay to a huge deal, because they enjoy watching former Lions wideouts take their money and then suck. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Arizona Cardinals. “Schematically, we were kinda fucked.”. Your 2022 record: 4-13. Four years ago, this team was the future of the NFC.Drew Magary owns Why Your Team Sucks and the Funbag, which both are coming over to Defector. On the landing page right now you can send him submissions for either of those.Some people are fans of the Washington Redskins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Redskins. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all ...The Los Angeles Chargers are ranked 30 th in the team guide. They are currently in a converted office building as a temporary facility and according to reports, the permanent training facility should be ready by 2024. It is understandable that the ranking and negative results reflect this temporary workplace. It sure is.٣ ذو القعدة ١٤٣٥ هـ ... The author, national columnist, and reluctant Vikings fan expands on the Packers installment of his annual “Why Your Team Sucks” series.Why Your Team Sucks 2022: Miami Dolphins. 12:00 PM EDT on August 22, 2022. Michael Reaves/Getty Images. By Drew Magary. 308 Comments. Join the Discussion. Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in …Aug 3, 2023 · Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Atlanta Falcons. Your 2022 record: 7-10. Second straight 7-10 season. Second-best pro football team […] Aug 4, 2023 · Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Carolina Panthers. Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Carolina Panthers. “I’m going to fuck them up” - baker mayfield on ... Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Carolina Panthers. Cam Newton: "Just because Cam Newton is on your roster it doesn't mean you're just going to win.It’s why the Cowboys are the most valuable team in sports despite never winning a fucking thing. It’s why they hand out COVID like it’s a fucking Top Round coupon. It’s why Jerry’s Legends group is the most expensive line item in the budget of every other professional and of collegiate sports team, and of the 2028 L.A. Olympics. It ...Sep 7, 2023 · Drew Magary September 6, 2023 Protect The Head That Reads Defector Finally, a way to cover your head while also letting everyone know that you read about sports online. Defector now sells bucket and trucker hats in the merch store. Union made and printed in the USA. Buy Now → Why Your Team Sucks Why Your Team Sucks 2023: San Francisco 49ers Aug 29, 2023 · Your team: Jacksonville Jaguars. A swastika projected onto a building in downtown Jacksonville in January 2023. Image: Reddit. Your 2022 record: 9-8. AFC South champions. The 2021 Urban Meyer season was so fun that I never wanted it to end, what with all the dry-humping and kicked kickers and what not. Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Miami Dolphins. Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Miami Dolphins.What’s new that sucks: Nothing! Thanks to over $57 million in dead cap space, the Packers finally got to live out their lifelong dream of signing no free agents at all. The highest-profile signing was backup S Tarvarius Moore. Their second-highest profile signing was a long snapper.This is what you deserve, Steelers fans. You deserve to watch your team continually rebuild around an aging, indifferent shithead of a quarterback and have it go absolutely nowhere. You deserve to have your head coach privately despise all of you. You deserve a running game that makes the '90s Jets look efficient by comparison.Some people are fans of the Buffalo Bills. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Buffalo Bills. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the …Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Atlanta Falcons. By. Drew Magary. Published September 6, 2017. Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons ...Why your team sucks

Bills Mafia sucks because they're a pack of replacement-level Trumpkin jagoffs who spend their time getting alcohol poisoning in parking lots and complaining endlessly about how New York City should be its own state, as if their shantytown would even have paved roads without the tax revenue collected downstate.. Why your team sucks

why your team sucks

Ryan Tannehill had his worst season since he came to Tennessee, capped by a three-pick shitshow in the playoffs against the Bengals. He was paid $38.6 million to do so.Somehow, instead of wasting their draft picks, as they are wont to do, the Titans watched the best QB in the draft fall to them in third round.Tradition! Your 2022 record: 8-8-1. It sounds inaccurate to describe any Washington season as “low-key embarrassing.”. But at 8-8-1, and with the Broncos, Colts, and Cardinals occupying every floor of the Suck House, this was a feat that the newly-christened Commanders were able to pull off with frightening ease.As a result, the Ravens’ fortunes in 2023 will depend on being able to outscore everyone else on the schedule, and that’s a big ask when your best RB is full body cast J.K. Dobbins, and when Rashod Bateman is still one of your primary receiving options. Patrick Queen sucks now.Some people are fans of the Buffalo Bills. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Buffalo Bills. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the …Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Green Bay Packers By Drew Magary Published August 6, 2019 Photo: Dylan Buell ( Getty) Some people are fans of the Green Bay Packers. But many, many more people are …Why Your Team Sucks: Philadelphia Flyers LebronMaclean · Follow 5 min read · Sep 28, 2021 2021 SEASON: The Flyers built on the progress of last season by …Why your team doesn't suck: The Patriots have no receivers. The Texans don’t have a good enough quarterback. The Texans don’t have a good enough quarterback. The Colts are still a year or so away.Aug 15, 2023 · Tradition! Your 2022 record: 8-8-1. It sounds inaccurate to describe any Washington season as “low-key embarrassing.”. But at 8-8-1, and with the Broncos, Colts, and Cardinals occupying every floor of the Suck House, this was a feat that the newly-christened Commanders were able to pull off with frightening ease. Football-wise, I can tell you that RG3 can no longer play. In a tragic bit of irony, his forever-compromised mobility has forced him to become more of a pocket passer, which is something he and ...Why the players think you suck: The Bucs are the 67th most-cherished asset in the Glazer family sports portfolio, and the union’s offseason survey more than reflects that fact: The highest graded areas of their operations are the weight room, the strength coaches and training staff.Aug 16, 2023 · 455 Comments Join the Discussion Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Pittsburgh Steelers. 98 YARDS! 🤯 📺: @NFLonCBS pic.twitter.com/P3rA4gbxYl Now Trump is turning the US into the Buffalo Bills of countries: a horribly mismanaged shithole full of rock-dumb racist drunks screaming “We Need To Go Back To The Good Old Days” while ...Aug 26, 2019 · This will go down as a historic mishandling of a generational talent. The Colts lost Peyton Manning to neck herpes, went right into the tank, fell into Andrew Luck by sheer serendipity, and STILL ... Aug 23, 2023 · The Los Angeles Chargers are ranked 30 th in the team guide. They are currently in a converted office building as a temporary facility and according to reports, the permanent training facility should be ready by 2024. It is understandable that the ranking and negative results reflect this temporary workplace. It sure is. ٣٠ ربيع الأول ١٤٣٧ هـ ... Here is our third installment of WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS . Today we take on the Boston Bruins - in the background is an NHL 16 Ranked Match.Drew Magary September 1, 2023 Why Your Team Sucks Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Buffalo Bills Drew Magary August 31, 2023 Why Your Team Sucks Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Dallas Cowboys Drew Magary August 30, 2023 Why Your Team …By the way, this is the last year of everyone feeling sorry for Burrow before realizing that he's probably just not that good. What’s new that sucks: In the grand tradition of teams unveiling new uniforms that look like their old uniforms, the Bengals have new old uniforms. A new look for a new era.White was injured one game later, but still: MAGIC. Your coach: Robert Saleh, who says all the right things and seems like a really cool guy, except …. Of all his challenges as a rookie head coach in the NFL, the injuries, the virus, the proverbial roller coaster in a 17-game season that produced four victories, the Jets' Robert Saleh said that little compared to occupying a two-bedroom ...This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here. Your team: Earth’s tumor. Fuck you. Eat shit. Die. Hop on ...Ike Hilliard is your wideout coach, and there are few Guys I like remembering more than failed Gator wideouts: Hilliard, Reidel Anthony, Chris Doering, Jacquez Green, Reche Caldwell, Jabar Gaffney. It’s its whole own genre of Guy. An absolute joy. Your quarterback: Bryson DeChambeau’s father. When someone in the stands has a footlongDidn't even flinch when it happened. 2. Our defensive secondary consist of a scarecrow, Plank from "Ed, Edd and Eddy," a hot dog vendor and Glover Quin (that poor bastard). 3. Our beer prices are ...Some people are fans of the Denver Broncos. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Denver Broncos. This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Denver Broncos. When I text you “☎️” it means I’m dialed in. — Russell Wilson (@DangeRussWilson) July 20, 2022.Some people are fans of the Oakland Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Oakland Raiders. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the ...Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Carolina Panthers. Cam Newton: "Just because Cam Newton is on your roster it doesn't mean you're just going to win.This will go down as a historic mishandling of a generational talent. The Colts lost Peyton Manning to neck herpes, went right into the tank, fell into Andrew Luck by sheer serendipity, and STILL ...Aug 2, 2023 · Your 2022 record: 6-11, and here is where I remind you of the curious triumphs of 2021, when the Raiders got rid of Jon Gruden early in that season for racism, and then barnstormed their way into the playoffs anyway under interim head coach and Carnegie Deli menu item Rich Bisaccia. The reason my team sucks is because every fucking time some jerk douchebag takes it upon themselves to get a bully-boner by making fun of my beloved Bills, I have no comeback. Literally none.Your coach: Sean Payton, who talks trash like a second-rate nickel back and coaches like one too. Here’s Sean sealing his own doom just before Stefon Diggs smashed his idiot team to pieces. And ...1. Green Bay presents itself as this charming little mom-and-pop operation. The only goal of the Packers is to run every business in the community into the ground, and make as much money as ...As a result, the Ravens’ fortunes in 2023 will depend on being able to outscore everyone else on the schedule, and that’s a big ask when your best RB is full body cast J.K. Dobbins, and when Rashod Bateman is still one of your primary receiving options. Patrick Queen sucks now.Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the ...The Packers suck because Kenosha sucks. And like the Packers organization, the Kenosha community is poised to remain stuck in perpetual mediocrity due to their unwillingness to evolve. There is an ingrained inability to change because everyone is afraid of what that change will look like (see Capers/McCarthy).What has always sucked: The Rams moved to LA for the most cynical of reasons, won a title, and will now operate under the most cynical of pretenses. Like McVay himself, they’re now only here because they have to be. Even with a title banner, they add nothing to the LA sports scene, or to LA itself.Now Trump is turning the US into the Buffalo Bills of countries: a horribly mismanaged shithole full of rock-dumb racist drunks screaming “We Need To Go Back To The Good Old Days” while ...WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Because L.A. still doesn’t give a shit. This team could be unbeaten and Gurley could literally take flight during games like Superman and Angelenos would still rather avoid ...Aug 31, 2022 · This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: The Raiders. If you say that name the way Chris Berman jokingly does, I will sneak into your home while you’re asleep and spray the bottom of your shower with WD-40. Your 2021 record: 10-7. 4. Our best defensive player is one trip to Bonnaroo away from devoting his life to being a Molly tester, our 2nd best defensive player shoots himself while blackout drunk and our 3rd best ...Sep 1, 2022 · Why Your Team Sucks 2022: Arizona Cardinals. 12:21 PM EDT on September 1, 2022. Dylan Buell/Getty Images. By Drew Magary. 390 Comments. Join the Discussion. Some people are fans of the Arizona Cardinals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. The team drafted Karlos “Mystery Nut Surgery” Williams to fill the hole left by all of C.J. Spiller’s injuries. New tight end Charles Clay will be picked up and dropped by your fantasy team ...Jul 28, 2020 · Drew Magary owns Why Your Team Sucks and the Funbag, which both are coming over to Defector. On the landing page right now you can send him submissions for either of those. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: San Francisco 49ers. Your 2018 record: 4-12. They gave Jimmy Garoppolo a huge ...١٣ ربيع الآخر ١٤٣٧ هـ ... Buffalo Sabres edition of WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS - yeah that's right coming back at you with another edition of me telling you why your team is ...Why Your Team Sucks 2022: Buffalo Bills. Some people are fans of the Buffalo Bills. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Buffalo Bills. This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Thirteen seconds.٢٣ ربيع الأول ١٤٣٨ هـ ... Today in overwatch competitive season 3 tips and tricks tutorial guide ranked how to play overwatch guide for new players noobs tutorial ...This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Your team: Denver Broncos. Your 2013 record: 13-3, AFC Champions. Highest scoring team in NFL history. Of course, none of that ...I am why this team sucks. Our racist mummy owner decided to beat the league to the punch on the anthem front, because his moral compass demagnetized 250 years ago. At this rate, nobody will ever ...Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the ...I am why this team sucks. Our racist mummy owner decided to beat the league to the punch on the anthem front, because his moral compass demagnetized 250 years ago. At this rate, nobody will ever ...Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Atlanta Falcons. Your 2022 record: 7-10. Second straight 7-10 season. Second-best pro football team […]Even his name sucks. He was one of the most obvious reaches at No. 1 in modern history, a college stat-hound that got shoved up the draft board mostly because he looks the part.Your team: Houston Texans. The name is its own punchline. Your 2021 record: 4-13. For the second straight year, the Texans were the first team in the league to be eliminated from playoff contention. Half their wins came against the Jaguars. In the month of October alone, they lost every game and were outscored 155-52.Aug 11, 2021 · The Giants are expected to release TE Kelvin Benjamin. Former wide receiver was attempting to revive his career at a new position. — Jordan Raanan (@JordanRaanan) July 28, 2021. Elsewhere, the Giants signed Kenny Golladay to a huge deal, because they enjoy watching former Lions wideouts take their money and then suck. ٢١ شوال ١٤٣٤ هـ ... Aug 30, 2013 - Some people are fans of the Buffalo Bills. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Buffalo Bills.This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Philadelphia Eagles. Your 2021 record: 9-8. The Eagles started last season 2-5, mostly because they were under the mistaken impression that they knew how to pass the football.This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Houston Texans. Your 2014 record: 9-7. That record translates to 16-0 if you ...Of course, Ngata has been on the injury list all training camp with a hamstring problem. The Ravens probably suckered the Lions by sending a stunt man to stand in during the physical or something ...What’s new that sucks: Stroud’s development will be hampered by the fact that he has no one to throw the ball to. At Ohio State, he had a dozen future All-Pros at his disposal. In Houston, he will have Nico Collins. The Texans won’t even have their leading wideout from a season ago.Your team: Oakland Raiders. As you know, the Raiders are moving to Vegas one day, but are bleeding the clock on their way out of California as we speak. After reaching a tentative deal to play out ...By the way, this is the last year of everyone feeling sorry for Burrow before realizing that he's probably just not that good. What’s new that sucks: In the grand tradition of teams unveiling new uniforms that look like their old uniforms, the Bengals have new old uniforms. A new look for a new era.Some people are fans of the Oakland Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Oakland Raiders. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the ...Aug 26, 2022 · This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Philadelphia Eagles. Your 2021 record: 9-8. The Eagles started last season 2-5, mostly because they were under the mistaken impression that they knew how to pass the football. Your team: Los Angeles Rams. LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 14: The Hollywood Sign changes to honor the Los Angeles Rams winning Super Bowl LVI on February 14, 2022 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images) Your 2021 record: 12-5. Super Bowl champions. FEEL THE EXCITEMENT, LOS ANGELES!Jul 30, 2021 · What’s new that sucks: JJ Watt was granted his release and promptly joined Hopkins in Arizona. I don’t know how the Texans suddenly became the Cardinals’ farm team, but that’s the mystery of God for you. Phillip Lindsay is here from Denver, because David Johnson tears an ankle ligament every other Wednesday practice. The Jose Mourinho toxic death spiral has already started. It’s like the Saw franchise — a horror story we’ve seen before and has devolved into near-comedy by now. Grab your popcorn, sit back, and enjoy. Also, Harry Kane is a medical miracle. He’s a 27-year old with the body and fitness of a 45-year old.What’s new that sucks: JJ Watt was granted his release and promptly joined Hopkins in Arizona. I don’t know how the Texans suddenly became the Cardinals’ farm team, but that’s the mystery of God for you. Phillip Lindsay is here from Denver, because David Johnson tears an ankle ligament every other Wednesday practice.Someone has to be that team in every league, and the Cardinals are very much that team. This has always been God’s plan for them. This has always been God’s plan for them. You may get occasional bright spots like Kurt Warner’s re-rebirth, or Larry Fitzgerald’s career, or Murray playing Big Boy football for two plays every quarter, but ...Oct 8, 2021 -- 2021 SEASON: The Islanders were good for basically two weeks in March, and that was just enough to make the playoffs because the Sabres exist, the Devils were still bad, the Flyers...What’s new that sucks: Everything new about this team is old. They brought back Julius Peppers for a farewell tour and, in a completely bonkers move, decided to replace Gettleman with former GM ...١٣ محرم ١٤٤٤ هـ ... SUBSCRIBE: https://bit.ly/3BdJ2HV College Football Unsensored's Chris Marler joins the program to talk about his career, getting to Saturday ...Ryan Tannehill had his worst season since he came to Tennessee, capped by a three-pick shitshow in the playoffs against the Bengals. He was paid $38.6 million to do so.Somehow, instead of wasting their draft picks, as they are wont to do, the Titans watched the best QB in the draft fall to them in third round.Published July 29, 2019. Photo: Adam Hunger ( AP) Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview ...Aug 11, 2021 · The Giants are expected to release TE Kelvin Benjamin. Former wide receiver was attempting to revive his career at a new position. — Jordan Raanan (@JordanRaanan) July 28, 2021. Elsewhere, the Giants signed Kenny Golladay to a huge deal, because they enjoy watching former Lions wideouts take their money and then suck. Why the players think you suck: The Bucs are the 67th most-cherished asset in the Glazer family sports portfolio, and the union’s offseason survey more than reflects that fact: The highest graded areas of their operations are the weight room, the strength coaches and training staff.Knowing how to troubleshoot issues with your vacuum cleaner is one sure way of extending its service life and getting the most bang for your buck. It does suck to have a vacuum cleaner that doesn’t suck.Aug 21, 2023 · Every Seahawks fan was hoping that the team would lose enough in 2022 to end the reigns of both Carroll and GM John Schneider. Both men are now more entrenched than they’ve ever been. Russell Wilson couldn’t kill them off. Opposing teams couldn’t kill them off. Even Death himself won’t be able to kill them off. Why your team sucks: Now that the Blackhawks have won their second Stanley Cup in four years, here is your revised list of a typical white Chicagoan's cheering priorities: 1. Cubs. 2. Bill Murray ...This 2022 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Philadelphia Eagles. Your 2021 record: 9-8. The Eagles started last season 2-5, mostly because they were under the mistaken impression that they knew how to pass the football.Your 2021 record: 7-10, the first time the Seahawks have had a losing record since 2011, when the late Tarvaris Jackson was their leading passer. Let’s Remember Some Dead Guys! Fresh off a division title from the year prior, the 2021 Seahawks blew a 30-16 fourth quarter lead to the Titans. Their starting QB had his finger deboned.. Ts harrisburg escort